You're not there to be their friend...

When I started my training, if I got paid for everytime someone said "you're not there to be their friend" or "don't smile before Christmas" I would be a millionaire. Phrases like these make me question the ethos of my classroom and whether as teachers there is a small part of us that wants to be 'liked'.

As a trainee, I found I did slightly worry about being 'liked' at first, however I should define what I mean by 'like'. When I think about wanting to be liked as a teacher, I don't mean being liked as a friend or being liked for the person I am. I fully believe I am not there to be their friend, that part I do agree with, but what I question is whether the phrase should rather be that we want pupils to enjoy our lessons and that they want to be in our classroom. Therefore, maybe to achieve this we have to be 'liked' by them to a certain extent. Does that make sense?

We are not asking pupils to like us as their friends, or want them to know everything about us (quite the opposite sometimes!), or create a specific dialogue with them - e.g. trying to use modern slang, or share interests with them, or talk about the latest Love Island dumping, etc - but actually that we present ourselves in a positive and exciting way and create an ethos that they want to be part of in our classroom. So, not neccessarily to like us, but to like our lessons and being part of the engagement we create.

I don't enter my classroom trying to get pupils 'on my side' or write lessons for them to 'like' me more, I do my job to create a love of learning and if them 'liking' me as a proffessional or person is a byproduct of that, then that is fine but it was not the initial intention/aim. Being a very young teacher, entering the career straight after university, I have definitley thought about what pupils would say about me and my lessons. I somewhat think it would be in-human to not care what they think, and use this to become an even better teacher. However, most of all I want them to have a fantatsic education, and if that means consequensing their incorrect uniform, or removing them from the room for innappropriate behaviour, that's what will happen, and in that moment I never think "oh, wait, what if they don't 'like' me after this?". I am a professional, and I'm there to nuture well-rounded individuals. In fact, I very often find they like routine, rules and clear expectations, maybe it makes them 'like' us even more!

Do we want to be liked or is it us wanting to create an engaging environment that they want to be part of?

What do you think? Do you 'smile' before Christmas? Have you ever worried about your reputation as teacher formed from pupils' views?

Miss B :)